


amplification

by allforus



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Confused Derek, Derek is scared about liking a man, Episode: s04e24 Amplification, M/M, More tags to be added, Secret Crush, Sick Spencer, Spencer is clueless, fuck sexuality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-29
Updated: 2020-09-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:41:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24986236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allforus/pseuds/allforus
Summary: continuation of season 4 episode 24 "Amplification" where Derek realizes he loves Spencer when he is exposed to anthrax. is it too late for him to confess his feelings?
Relationships: Derek Morgan/Spencer Reid
Comments: 16
Kudos: 203





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i hope you enjoy this work! a new chapter should be posted in the next few days :-)
> 
> the scenes from the episode might not be 100% accurate, my apologizes.
> 
> i do not own these characters or this world!

**SPENCER**

Spencer couldn’t help his crush. He had tried for years, brushing off his feelings as platonic or completely physical, to pretend it wasn’t there. Sure, Derek looked attractive when he got out of the shower, but that was a fact, nothing he felt personally,  _ right _ ?

When Spencer first joined the behavioral analysis unit at the FBI, he was the young scrappy genius that Derek Morgan picked on. It hadn’t shocked him, he was never the popular kid in school, always teased for his age and brain. What had shocked him was his eventual friendship with the older agent, who had become one of his very best friends. Through years of working together, they had formed a sort of bond that Spencer could never explain. Maybe it was brotherly, he wouldn’t know any better, being an only child his whole life. Whatever it was, Spencer knew he had to cherish it.

His crush on the older man didn’t make solving crime any easier, always subconsciously looking for his approval, wanting to know what he thought of his theories instead of trusting his gut. His other colleagues always knew something was up between the two of them, Spencer always offering to go with Morgan to crime scenes, requesting to room with him, etcetera. They never asked though, and he was grateful that they respected his privacy.

It wasn’t until the spring of 2009 when his crush on Derek came to light, and it was in a way he never would’ve expected.

  
  


**DEREK**

The wave of new anthrax attacks on civilians had the entire government in a frenzy. Derek knew his team would figure out, they always did, but the pressure and fear surrounding the situation only made him more anxious and irritable. 

He and Spencer were on their way to the house of Dr Lawernce Nichols, hoping to find the man himself, or at least some answers. 

Derek noticed his younger colleague bouncing his knee and biting his nails as he stared out of the car window, prompting him to ask, “Hey kid, everything alright?”

Spencer looked back at him and smiled slightly. 

“Yeah, yeah. Just this case, you know. A lot of people’s lives are on the line and it’s up to us to save them.”

Derek agreed, but told Spencer that he was sure they would figure it out. Dr Nichols’ house wasn’t too far, and the remainder of the drive was spent in silence.

When they arrived, the house appeared empty, with no car in the driveway. Before they could check inside, Derek’s phone was ringing, and he stopped to answer it.

“Uh-huh. Yeah, we’re here now,” he said when he was asked about their whereabouts. 

“Emily and Rossi checked, the lab is clean,” Garcia said into his phone. It stopped him dead in his tracks.

“I’m sorry, what? The lab is clean? You’re sure?” He questioned, his friend confirming what she had just said. That’s when he realized the younger agent was no longer beside him.

“Reid, Reid!” Derek called, frantically looking around for his suddenly missing friend.

They both knew what had happened when he saw Spencer slam the door to the house. Anthrax. In the house. Where Reid was. 

“Morgan, get back. Get back. Get out of here.”

“Reid! Open the door!”

“I’m sorry,” is all Spencer could say.

It hit Derek like a ton of bricks, all of the emotions he had tried to bury hit him in one instant. He couldn’t lose Spencer. Not now, not ever. 

  
  


________

  
  


It was days later, when the anthrax threat was gone, and Spencer was finally out of the hospital, that Derek confronted his feelings about the other man.

He hadn’t expected his feelings towards the younger man to ever be  _ really  _ considered, he thought his increased heart rate around him was purely physical, and something that happened to everyone. 

Derek didn’t know how to deal with being in love with another man. This was totally out of his comfort zone, he wasn't sure if he should do anything about it, or attempt to bury these feelings completely.

Spencer was out of work for the remainder of the week, recovering from the anthrax exposure at home. It was a week filled with paperwork and case files, no new cases being brought to the BAU’s attention. Derek hated this, sitting at his desk all day gave him all the time in the world to think about him. 

Spencer was straight, so there was no point in revealing feelings that could never be reciprocated, is what Derek kept telling himself. It took all of his strength to not show up on the other man’s doorstep and declare his love, knowing it would certainly be the end of their friendship.

Friday was slow, and Hotch let the team leave a few hours early, claiming that slow weeks were always followed by intense cases, so they might as well start resting up. 

“Hey Morgan, any plans for tonight?” Emily asked him as she packed up her things, looking over at him when he didn’t immediately respond.

“Oh, uh not really. I was gonna go check up on Reid, see if he needed anything, but not much. You?”

“Just ladies night, I’d invite you but I’m not sure you’d love watching rom-coms and gossiping with Garcia JJ and I,” She said, laughing at the thought.

Derek grinned and agreed with her, telling her to enjoy her weekend off.

When he got to his car, he knew he could just go home, it was better for him to not see Spencer, especially when he was alone. God knows he wouldn’t be able to help himself from spilling his feelings. Despite this, when he pulled out of the parking garage, he turned left, towards the city, rather than right, towards his house.

He arrived at Spencer’s apartment building and sat in his car for an hour. He couldn’t bring himself to leave his car, but he also couldn’t make himself leave. He was stuck, sitting there staring out of the window.

He had almost convinced himself to leave when he heard a knock on his window. Turning, the slightly sickley face of his younger colleague stared at him, confused.


	2. awkward encounters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! it's been a minute, so sorry for not updating this fic sooner! i've been crazy busy with college applications, but hopefully i'll be able to work on this story more often.
> 
> this is a pretty short chapter, but i wanted to post something so you guys knew i wasn't abandoning this work! a better update should be posted soon
> 
> thank you! hope you're all doing well :-)

**DEREK**

“Uh, hey Derek. What are you doing here?” Spencer said, looking into the car to see if the older man was with anybody else.

“Oh, I was just, uh, in the neighborhood and thought I’d stop by to say hi. Are you feeling any better?”

“Your cars been here for at least thirty minutes so I'm not buying that. Did Hotch send you to check up on me? Seriously I’m doing better,” He said, crossing his arms.

“No no no. Hotch didn’t send me, although everyone has been worried about you,” was all that Derek could say, still attempting to cover his ass. 

“So you’re just parked outside of my apartment because..?”

Well shit. In all the time the two had been talking, Derek still hadn’t come up with a proper excuse for his presence at the younger man’s home. 

“I just wanted to check up on you I guess. Is it really that big of an issue?” Derek said, crossing his arms defensively. 

“I guess not,” Spencer said, eyes still looking wary as he stared at the older man. “Did you want to come inside or were you just planning on sitting in your car for the rest of the evening?”

“Oh! You don’t have to do that I’m okay. But thank you, see you at work!” Derek had responded faster than he intended, making a stumbling fool of himself. Spencer just shook his head as Derek attempted to roll up the window.

“You’re an idiot. Come inside, we can order pizza, i swear i’m not sick anymore,” Spencer said, hands up in faux defense. 

Derek laughed, having forgotten how much he had missed his friend in the days since his hospitalization.

“Fine, fine, but only if you insist. I’ll call the place down the street,” Derek said, opening the door, and stepping out onto the curb next to his taller, skinnier friend. 

As the two walked inside, Derek couldn’t help but notice the uneasy air between the two of them. He didn’t want to make the situation worse by commenting on it, but damn, he hadn’t realized how this realization of his feelings would make him feel so awkward around Spencer.

‘Maybe I can let this go, forget about it,’ Derek thought to himself as the two walked up the final steps to the apartment door, but when Spencer turned back to him and smiled, Derek knew he was completely fucked. 

**SPENCER**

It wasn't that he didn’t love hanging out with his best friend, Spencer loved any time he spent with Derek, but he was still  _ really  _ confused as to why the older man had been sat outside of his apartment building. It wasn’t like Derek to show up unannounced, let alone to sit in his car for that long.

Their pizza came quickly, and the two sat on his leather couch and ate, not speaking much.

“How is everyone, anything interesting happen while I’ve been out?” He asked, wiping his hands on the napkin on his lap.

“It’s been pretty boring without you kid, just the usual stuff. We’ll probably have a case on Monday though.”

Spencer nodded, grabbing another slice of the cheese pizza. An awkward silence sat between the two of them like a ton of bricks, and he wasn’t sure how to break it. He kept trying to look at the other man, but everytime their eyes met, Derek’s brown eyes would look away, pretending to be interested in something else in the room.

“Derek, why are you really here?” Spencer asked, placing a hand on the other man’s knee, forcing them to look at each other.

“I, I don’t really know if I’m being honest. One second I was at the office, and the next I was parked outside.”

  
Spencer just nodded, as if he understood what the older man meant. He took the opportunity to get up and take the now empty pizza box into his kitchen, allowing himself a few seconds to compose himself. Derek had never acted so strange around him,  _ why couldn’t he figure out what was going on?  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! all comments and kudos are appreciated


	3. the next day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> derek and spencer get breakfast etc

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! longer chapter, yay! next chapter should be up in the next few days.
> 
> life is kind of kicking my ass rn but writing cute moreid has been helping :,) hope you're all well!

**DEREK**

Yeah, okay. Maybe coming here wasn’t his best idea, but he didn’t know how to get out of it now. He moved away from the other side of the couch while Spencer was in the kitchen, trying to reorganize his thoughts. When Spencer returned, all of Derek’s feelings rushed back into him. He knew at this rate, he’d be pinning down the younger man in no time.

Derek stood up, stopping Spencer in his tracks. “I should probably get going.”

“What, are you dining and dashing now? You should at least stay to watch something, your choice.”

That’s how Derek ended up watching Easy A with an over-excited Reid, who kept pausing the movie to explain a plot point or character arc.

“Who knew you were such a rom-com fan,” Derek chuckled while taking a sip of his now half empty beer.

“There’s plenty you don’t know about me Derek Morgan,” Spencer said, speaking quieter than before. The rest of the movie was watched in silence.

By the time the end credits were rolling, Spencer was snoring softly against a throw pillow, completely unaware of the movie’s end. Derek got up and went to find a blanket from the young geniuses’ room, placing it over him to keep him warm.

“Goodnight pretty boy, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Derek almost left, his hand was reaching for the door, but he stopped himself, turning around and walking back towards the sleeping man.

Before he could stop himself, he placed a light kiss on Spencer’s forehead before finally making his way home. 

  
  


**SPENCER**

Spencer woke up at 7, the feeling of  _ something _ lingering on his forehead. Rubbing his eyes, he searched for his phone, which had fallen to the ground at some point during the night. His neck was killing him, and he attempted to stretch it as he read his messages.

**Derek Morgan:** hey pretty boy, i figured you’d just complain if i woke you up, so i left around 11

**Derek Morgan:** don’t worry!! i locked up

**Derek Morgan:** text me in the morning? there was something i wanted to talk to you about

He responded quickly, never letting himself leave the other man waiting.

**Spencer Reid:** thanks for coming over last night, it was fun!! also thank you for locking up, with the work we do i get so paranoid hahahaha

**Spencer Reid:** what did you want to talk about? maybe we can get breakfast??

Derek responded faster than Spencer expected him to, barely having time to get up to start his coffee machine.

**Derek Morgan** : yes breakfast!! i’ll pick you up in thirty.

Spencer showered and got ready, drinking two cups of coffee as he carefully chose out his outfit. Obviously this wasn’t a date, but he couldn’t help dressing up for the older man. By the time he was dressed in a blue button down and tighter-than-usual pants, there was a knock at his door.

“Hey kid, ready to go?” Derek said, leaning against the wall across from the door, Spencer couldn’t help the blush spread across his face.

“Yeah, just give me a second,” he said, turning around to find his wallet.

They decided on a small diner half a block from Spencer’s place. Derek insisted that they walk, which earned him several minutes of complaining and statistics about pedestrian deaths. It was early, barely 8 when they walked in, where they were seated immediately.

They spent the next hour engrossed in conversation, only stopping to order their food. Spencer forgot how much he loved just talking to his best friend, especially when they didn’t have the pressure of their job looming over them.

Derek refused to let Spencer pay, claiming that “he could pay next time”, although he knew how unlikely that would be. As they walked back to his apartment, Spencer remembered the reason for their breakfast.

“Wait, what was it that you wanted to talk to me about?” 

Derek stopped for a split-second, seeming to have forgotten that he had something to talk about. “Oh yeah, I was just, uh.” He couldn’t seem to figure out exactly what he had wanted to say.

“Is everything okay? Are your sisters hurt?” Spencer asked, suddenly seeming worried.

“No no no, god no. They’re all okay. I was wondering if you wanted to go to dinner. With me.”

“Sure? Why though, was there a new place you wanted to try out or-” Spencer started, but Derek’s laughter cut him off.

“Pretty boy I don’t think you’re understanding what I’m saying. I’m trying to ask you out to dinner. Like a dinner date.”

Oh. OH. Spencer’s thoughts came to a halt, followed by the rest of his body. He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, Derek continuing a few paces in front of him before he realized the other man had stopped.

“You know what, forget I asked, here let me just walk-” This time, it was Spencer who was cutting him off.

“No, no, just give me a second to process all of  _ this _ ,” he said, motioning with his hands between the two men.

“So you want to go on a date with me?” Derek nodded.

“Why?” Spencer asked, looking down at the space between them.

“You know why Spence,” Derek said softly, stepping towards the other man.

Spencer closed his eyes, giving his brain more room to think about what was happening. Derek wanted to go on a date with him? Was this some kind of joke he was playing? Would Emily walk out with a camera? No, Derek wouldn’t do that. But then that meant Derek liked him, which just didn’t seem accurate. 

“Okay,” Spencer said, opening his eyes. Derek looked paler than usual, a worried expression plastered across his face. “Yes, but also let me think, okay? It’s definitely a yes, but I’m going to go home.”

A shy smile grew on Derek’s face. “Of course, pretty boy. Call me when you’re ready to talk.”

Spencer gave him a quick nod before darting past him down the street, racing to his apartment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading! all comments and kudos are appreciated.


	4. first date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> derek and spencer go on their first date!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOD. This update should not have taken as long as it did, i'm so sorry! School has been kicking my ass, but hopefully my next work will be up soon! I introduced a bit of jemily in this final chapter and I think I may flesh that plot line out into it's own work, but who knows. 
> 
> I hope you're all doing well! Stay safe xx

**DEREK**

Derek hadn’t expected Spencer to call him immediately, but he found himself waiting by his cell, just in case the kid decided now was the time. It was nearly 5pm when his phone finally lit up, with Spencer Reid’s contact picture flashing across the screen.

“Hey Spencer,” Derek said when he answered, smiling against the weight of his phone across his cheek.

“Hi.”

“So, have you thought it over?” Derek asked, sitting down on the edge of his bed.

“Yeah, I have. Would you like to get dinner tonight maybe?” Spencer said, the anxiety in his voice apparent even through the phone.

“I’d love that kid, wasn’t sure you were gonna say yes when you called, so i’m glad that hasn’t changed.”

“I’ve been staring at my phone trying to call you for almost an hour, if that helps.” This made Derek laugh.

“Do I make you nervous, pretty boy?” He asked, hearing the other man’s shaky breath on the other side of the phone.

“You know you do,” was spoken so softly, it was almost a whisper.

“Well,” Derek said, clearing his throat, “Hopefully not so nervous that you won’t let me pick you up at 7.”

“It’s a date. What should I wear?”

“Wear whatever, you’ll look great regardless,” Derek said, before hanging up the phone.

By the time he was running out the door, the confidence that Spencer’s acceptance had given him faltered.  _ Would Spencer get bored of talking to him? What the hell were they supposed to talk about, work?  _ As he drove to the younger man’s apartment, he tried to push those thoughts out of his head, focusing on the road in front of him. Soon, he was walking up the stairs to Spencer’s apartment. He swiftly knocked at the time of his watch changed from 6:59 to 7:00

Spencer opened the door almost instantly. Wearing tight black pants and a nice sweater.

“I wasn’t sure what to wear, is this alright?”

“You look fantastic,” Derek said, gesturing for the other man to walk out the door.

“So do you,” Spencer said softly as he walked past Derek into the hallway. Derek was wearing a red button-down and slacks, nothing out of the ordinary.

As they walked down the stairs, Derek could feel the other man’s hand brushing against his, but he knew better than to grab it. He knew that whatever happened, he had to let Spencer initiate, he didn’t want to freak the younger man out. 

“So what’s the plan?” Spencer asked as they walked out the front doors of his apartment complex towards Derek’s car.

“Still a surprise, but I promise it’ll be worth it.” Derek said, opening the passenger door for Spencer, who rolled his eyes while stepping up into the truck. “You’re no fun, what do we tell people, never go on dates with strangers to undisclosed locations? Never ends well.”

“Well luckily, I’m no stranger,” Derek said, closing the door and smiling.

They talked as they drove. The restaurant was only twenty minutes away, but evening traffic doubled the amount of time it should’ve taken. Spencer wanted to know all of the mundane office drama that had happened in his week-long absence. Derek found it funny, not realizing how much the younger man cared about that kind of stuff.

“That’s only because Garcia normally fills me in,” he explained, “Maybe I’ll go to dinner with her next time so I don’t have to deal with your snarky responses. I just wanted to know if Emily had made her move yet!”

“I’m hurt, but not surprised, I’d probably pick my baby girl over myself too,” Derek said, bringing his hand to his chest in feign sadness and making Spencer laugh.

By the time they arrived, the two of them had fallen into a comfortable silence. Derek pulled into the parking lot and parked.

“Okay, I know it isn’t the nicest place in town, but I figured the more relaxed the restaurant the more relaxed we can be.”

“It’s perfect Derek, thank you,” Spencer said smiling. By the time Derek was opening the passenger door, Spencer was grabbing his hand, refusing to let go.

**SPENCER**

The two of them sat near the back of the restaurant, away from the crowds in a secluded booth. 

“What’re you feeling?” Derek asked, looking over the menu before glancing up at Spencer, but Spencer wasn’t looking at the menu in front of him, instead staring somewhere behind Derek.

“Don’t turn around, but Emily’s sitting over at a table by the bar.” Spencer said, suppressing a smile.

“Why can’t I turn around, is she looking at- OH.”

Across the room, their coworker was laughing at whatever the blonde woman next to her was saying. It took him a second, but Derek realized that the woman in question was JJ.

“What are they doing here?? Girls night without Garcia?” Derek asked, turning back to his date.

“I think it may be a little more than a girls night, but you didn’t hear that from me,” Spencer said, taking a sip of his water. Derek laughed loudly, causing the people around them to glance their way. 

Their waitress took their orders and the two men talked occasionally peeking at their friends across the room. By the time their food arrived, any awkward feelings between the two of them had disappeared, and they were talking like they always had. 

“I’m really had we did this Derek,” Spencer said, smiling shyly before taking a bite of his meal. 

“Me too kid, me too.”

“You have got to stop calling me kid, it's getting creepy.” They laughed and ate their meals, enjoying each other’s company.

Leaving the restaurant was easier than expected, Emily and JJ were already gone, so there was no need to sneak out. As they walked to Derek’s car, Spencer turned his phone on and began laughing.

“What?” Derek asked, before looking over at the other man’s screen.

**JJ: Are you out with Derek??? WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME?**

**JJ: We saw you staring at us, Emily said to tell Derek if he said anything to anyone, especially Penelope, she’d kick his ass.**

Spencer responded quickly before putting his phone away, promising that he’d kick Derek’s ass before Emily got the chance. They drove in the direction of Spencer’s apartment, not saying anything. Derek walked him up to his door.

“Tonight was fun, let’s do it again sometime?” He said leaning against the locked door.

“Definitely.”

Derek began to say goodbye, but the younger man’s lips interrupted him.

“Would you like to come inside?”

“You know I would.” 

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading! all comments and kudos are appreciated!


End file.
